OOPS! THERE IT GOES. . . Seeing that future Reserve Bank governor Tito Mboweni has decided not to say anything until he assumes office following his internship with governor Chris Stals, we thought we'd put some words in his mouth with this caption to go with a picture taken at his Gallagher Estate send-off last Friday:
"Any guesses on the rand/dollar exchange rate when I become governor?"
GIFT TO THE NATION President Nelson Mandela appears to have missed the point in granting some 9 000 criminals early release from SA's admittedly overcrowded jails. The message is simple - do the crime, don't do the time - and SA's already demoralised police force must wonder whether risking life and limb is worth it under the circumstances. Not that they care anyway. SA's disregard for life was given an ample airing on the Jan Smuts Avenue off-ramp on the M1 in Johannesburg this week where a dead body had been left for almost a week despite repeated calls from appalled motorists.
NIGERIAN SCAM NO. 999 Following are excerpts from a letter sent to SA's Directorate of Civil Aviation recently, inviting it to invest in one of those well regarded Nigerian joint ventures, and claiming to be from Group Captain Nosa P Nedion of Nigeria's Federal Ministry of Aviation (FMA): "I have been mandated to arrange with you as a foreign account holder for the possible transfer of $30-million into your personal or company account".
It goes on to advise the lucky account holder will receive 30% of the funds, 60% will go to the FMA and the balance to cover taxes and costs.
"We assure you that the entire transaction is legal and 100% risk free," the letter concludes.
Pull the other one, Nosa.
MAKING A BIG BOOB Anton Stoikich of Sofia, Bulgaria, went into hospital to have a bunion removed and came out with 34DD silicone breasts. His trolley got mixed up with a sex change patient. "The doctors were very insensitive," he complained to a British tabloid. "They just said: 'We've made a bit of a boob'." Top of page