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Winnie and the dastardly plot to import ... |
Winnie and the dastardly plot to import 30-million anti-ANC votersJUST when you thought that Winnie Madikizela-Mandela was about to be consigned to the scrapheap of political history or doomed to become an answer to some obscure Trivial Pursuit question, she has bounced back by winning the ANC Women's League five-furlong handicap at Rustenburg this week. Although she romped home by several lengths, it turned out to be rather a one-horse race with Health Minister Nkosazana Zuma not even coming under starter's orders and the other horse, rank outsider Thandi Modise, trotting past the finishing post after most of the punters had already left the course. Zuma's failure to even start the race will come as a disappointment to her ANC owners and trainer who had high hopes for her this season, particularly as it was Zuma who was a key figure in trying to topple Winnie two years ago. With the big race of 1999 fast approaching, the ANC would have preferred to have someone less accident-prone (although only marginally so) as president of their Women's League. As things stand they will now have to be nice to Winnie, whose voice will be even more strident at ANC national executive committee meetings. Just in case anybody thought a year or two of political obscurity may have mellowed her, Winnie was quick to prove nothing has changed, and she is just as embarrassing and muddled as she ever was. Winnie sees in every newspaper article about her a sinister plot to deprive her of the power and privilege she loves and abuses so enthusiastically. How dare the press draw to the attention of mere taxpayers to the fact that she is unable to account for her various spending sprees as a deputy minister. How dare they say she doesn't pay her bills. "Which black person doesn't have a problem with a bond?" she asks fatuously. "I am proud of my poverty," declares the woman who used to jet overseas on unauthorised trips at the drop of a hat and who was once reputed to spend R2 000 a month on cosmetics. If the accusations in the press are so ludicrous, then all Winnie has to do is give straight answers to straight questions. However, directness has never been her forte and so she assures us that she has instructed her lawyers to deal with the issue - something we will await with interest. For a woman who claims she can't pay her bond, Winnie is spending a lot of money on legal fees.
While the rest of the ANC top brass now understand the economic and social importance of preaching reconciliation and nation building, poor persecuted Winnie can evidently think of nothing intelligent to contribute and so reverts to populist fire-side stories. LAST week had her babbling on about how the "enemy and spies" are putting "a daring plan together" ahead of the 1999 election. Exciting stuff. Although she refused to elaborate, (presumably another job for her hard-pressed lawyers) she has accused the Department of Home Affairs of issuing forged documents to "illegal immigrants" from Asia and Europe who are able to afford the R250 000 kickback necessary. This dastardly plan is being hatched by opponents of the ANC who apparently intend to "import" enough voters to guarantee an ANC defeat in 1999. So if the roads become a bit congested in the next year or two it is because the enemies of true democracy have issued about 30-million people with forged immigration documents. On the other hand, just think what this will do for depressed property prices!
WINNIE has never had a high regard for the principles of either political or financial accountability because she believes they were introduced by racist white bigots to stop people like her having fun. Neither does she have much regard for the courts, which she uses at her convenience depending on whether she is the plaintiff or defendant. Winnie is not, and never has been, a great fan of freedom of speech, particularly when she is the topic of conversation. At the Women's League conference last week she gave a sinister warning that if the media persists in printing these absurdities about her private life, "we, the women, will find a solution to closing you up". I don't know what she means, but I am not taking any chances and am avoiding contact with women football players carrying boxes of matches and car tyres.
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